Chieftain
08.06.10
It was a while before dawn would break; they stood by the small fire, talking quietly so as not to wake those in the neighbouring huts.
“Are you feeling strong?”
“Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes at him. “My strength is not in question here – I would not be eligible to put myself forward to be the next chieftain, otherwise.”
“I know, but…”
“Do not fear, Laurian.” She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. “My determination will see me through, if nothing else. I cannot allow Telsia to win – her views on the future of our people are worrying, to say the least. Her views on you Enslaved Ones even more so.”
“How did it go with your mother last night?” He raised an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes again.
“As well as can be expected, I suppose.”
– Are you ready, Warrior Naya? The matriarch had appraised her daughter with her usual stern glance.
– I believe so. Mother –
– You will address me properly while we are discussing matters of the Akanthi.
– I am sorry, she had said, bowing her head low. Chieftain, will you do me the kindness of sharing with me your opinion of my opponent?
The Chieftain’s look had softened almost imperceptibly. Her view on the relative merits of the two young women had been a source of much concern to her since the contenders had been selected. She hoped her view of Telsia was not coloured by her love of her daughter.
– She is strong, there has never been any doubt about that. She is also capable of leadership, and has amassed quite a following among us, as you are no doubt aware. Yet it is anger that drives her, and she is blinded by a hatred for the Enslaved Ones that I will never understand. Her followers are those like her, although not as strong of mind. The five shield-maidens she has chosen for tomorrow are big, strong girls, but they are as hot-headed as she. I believe your choices have been wiser.
– Thank you, Chieftain.
– You must keep your head and use her anger against her. She will think only to attack, and will do so relentlessly. But I have faith in you as a tactician to turn this around on her.
Naya looked away from Laurian, towards the faint light coming from the eastern horizon. It would soon be time to head for the clearing where the battle would take place. It would be a bloodless battle as it had been when the current chieftain had fought for the title; her mother’s predecessor had decreed that the Akanthi should not follow the barbaric traditions of the women of neighbouring Retria, and that leadership should be given to those who demonstrated skills beyond simple sword-fighting and brute strength. The deadly duel which had up to then been the way of determining the future leader was replaced by a day of mock battle between two contenders, each leading a band of five warriors.
“Who is going to blood you before battle?” She turned to look at him again.
“You are,” she said, and smiled at him. His eyes widened in shock and a jumble of emotions rushed through him.
“You will take the blood of an Enslaved One to see you through this? But this is madness! Your mother would -”
“My mother wants change as much as I do. She would never have allowed me to contend if she though I was incapable of taking risks. Besides, if I become Chieftain, I will fight to bring about changes that will anger many of the women. I go into bloodless battle today, but its result may bring about a lot of bloodshed. Most of it will, I fear, come from you Enslaved Ones. It is only fitting that I go into battle bearing the blood of one such as you.”
“In that case I would be honoured.” He bowed, and she pointed the tip of her sword at him. He pressed his thumb down on it, then ran the bloody digit down in a straight line from the centre of her forehead to the tip of her nose. She nodded at him, then mounted her horse and left for the clearing.
He watched her as the horse cantered away, his fears allayed. He had no doubt that he would soon be fighting alongside her, as a warrior and not a slave.
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Tags: Amazonian, battle, Chieftain, Fantasy, Flash Fiction, fridayflash, Slave, Warrior, Writing
Cool flash… braveheart boudicca.
I like the fact that women would think to remove the actual death part, and focus more on the qualities of leadership…why can’t men do this?!
Excellent flash.
Complete story but sounds like part of a book (in a good way). Like the juxtaposition of tenderness with the oncoming battle.
A whole mythology created in 1000 words – amazing achievement
” The five shield-maidens she has chosen for tomorrow are big, strong girls” made me laugh for some reason.
I had the image of an illegal dogfight somehow, this was going to get very, very brutal I imagine.
Wow – have to agree with Alison, this feels like a chapter from a much larger story – intense and you can’t go wrong with a band of Amazons! This isn’t comic book/Xena stuff though, it reads like a slice of history (is this an area of study for you?) and reads incredibly well. More, please.
This is an amazing story, Maria. I agree with the above comments in that I love how you’ve created a whole mythos here and it really does feel like you could do a book with this. I love the fact that it is the women who are the dominant ones but they battle for power in an non-bloody way.
Wonderful story!
This has a mythological bent, but modern, too, made so by the striving for equality on several fronts. Yes, could be a larger piece, but stands on its own. I am curious, though — who won? Peace…
Great work as always. Good world-building within the constraints of the #FridayFlash format.
I love this – like Linda, I’d like to know more. Perhaps an account of the battle itself as a future piece?
Noble, strong women battling – I don’t know what’s up with me this morning, but at first I thought you were going to take a weird left turn and have them mud wrestling in Vegas or something!!!
Glad you didn’t!
Nice work, Mazzz.
Very, very well done, Mazzz. I can only echo what other commenters have said, though I’d have thought this story was crying out for a sequel.
There is a great sense of synergy here, inverting roles and pointing fingers at strongly held beliefs. I picture the physical brutality of the combat, coupled with the tactical complexities. Makes you think.
Adam B @revhappiness
Very well written. Seems to capture the essence of tribal politics. Feels like it’s only a small part of a larger story to me, an except if you will. Would love to see more in the same vein.
I like that you give so much background very subtly: “enslaved ones,” the female led societies–some more barbaric than others. With the flashback I did get a little confused because I forgot for a moment about Laurian and who I think he is to Naya because we exited for a moment to see the exchange between the mother and daughter. What do you think of moving that to the opening? I always find flashbacks particularly challenging.
You create such rich and engaging worlds. This was a complete novell in less that 1000 words.
Been listening to the Inception soundtrack a lot since returning home. This reads really well to “Radical Notion” from that OST – I recommend giving it a whirl!
Awesome work. Loved the role reversals.
-Tim
This is a truly excellent flash. And I, too, could read a whole novel of this mythology. You drew me in completely.
Great piece.
Strong, powerful characters – including the off-stage Telsia – and all created within the constraints of a flash.
As with others, I think you have the germ of a whole novel here, but this was a great story in and of itself.
Very well done.
You managed to create an entire world in this short, tight space; a whole race and history conveyed in a few paragraphs. This is a clinic on world building. Fantastic work.
I can picture very clearly what kind of woman Naya’s opposer is and it makes me chuckle. The weak of heart surround themselves with even weaker people, although big.
Great story! Me wants more. 🙂
Superb work. It definitely needs to be continued. I’m on the edge of my seat.
Go Naya!
Very cool story. I’d be interested in knowing if she not only wins this bloodless battle, but the bloody ones to come.
What a wonderful piece of writing. I would definitely like to read more of this, a sequel perhaps?
I love stories with strong female MCs. I agree that this feels like a much larger story. Well done.
Love the way you craft this story through dialogue and voices.
This is a beautifully crafted story. I was immediately drawn into this story.
I also want to see the battle and the outcome. This feels like the beginning of a story, but the real meat of it is that climax. Make it happen!
Nice world that you create here. Very enjoyable.
The first line is abrupt, but gets us into the meat quickly. Agree with the others, this is like a snippet of a bigger story, but at the same time it conveys history and lifestyle in the brief space.
This is a well crafted story with potential to be a longer work. Actually, as I read this “The Cleft” popped into my head. I think maybe the strong female voice. Really good.