Moon

06.14.12

I never meant to land on the Moon. Still, now that I’m here I suppose I might as well make the most of it. After all, I am the first person to land here, so I should take care to document everything I observe for the benefit of mankind.

I can confirm that the Moon is not made of cheese. Unless of course it’s one of those dreadful French ones that my wife insists on buying. Although if the French had been the first to land here we would never have heard the end of it, so I can safely disregard the possibility.

It would not be befitting of an Englishman to visit a foreign land and refrain from commenting on the weather. I find the Moon to be exceedingly chilly – unpleasantly so, in fact. Though perhaps I am being a little unfair here; I am after all dressed for Mars.

Beyond mentioning that the terrain is rather bumpy, I’m not sure there is anything more of interest that I can report on the Moon. A rather dull place, all in all. I won’t be quite so harsh as to call it a waste of a spaceflight, but I do wish my errors in calculation had led me somewhere a little more edifying.

Well, there seems no point in staying here any longer. I need to recalculate the coordinates by adjusting that confounded decimal point one place to the right, but before I do that, tradition demands that I plant a British flag here.

There! Now that’s done, I shall just turn back towards my ship.

Oh.

Oh my.

It seems the Moon has one surprise for me. How well you can see the Earth from here!

What a magnificent sight.

Well.

I never meant to land on the Moon, but I’m jolly glad I did.

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15 Responses to “Moon”

  1. John Xero says on :

    Wait, the moon’s not made of cheese? This is clearly a work of fiction. Thoroughly spiffing one, though. Put a smile on this chap’s face. =)

  2. Tony Noland says on :

    So restrained and calm, as befits a vacuum. Good fun!

  3. Helen says on :

    What ? It’s really chilly on the Moon? I don’t beleive it, all that bright light and its cold.

    Entertaining piece of fiction! ^____^

  4. John Wiswell says on :

    Whimsical, odd and delightful. Great way to start off the #fridayflash week. I still believe there’s cheese up there.

  5. ~Tim says on :

    I got a nice smile from this. 🙂

  6. marc nash says on :

    right moon landing gainsayers, deny this one if you dare! An absolute hoot. Loved that his British reserve was finally blown away by the sublime majesty of the view. No sitting in your space suit at the edge of the Sea Of tranquility drinking tea out of a thermos and eating your sarnies out of wax paper here…

  7. Laurita says on :

    Quite a wrong turn, but this guy knows how to take things in stride. I do believe the English are experts in that field. 🙂

  8. Larry Kollar says on :

    Had HG Wells stuck his tongue in his cheek before sitting down to write, I daresay it would have looked something like this! Love it, obviously.

    Now that the Astronaut Who Can’t Navigate is about to climb back into his ship, will he aim for Earth or Mars? And will he end up on Venus or Callista? 😀

  9. Steve Green says on :

    Maybe this guy should have used a Satnav? Ah well, at least he has that gorgeous view to compensate for his miscalculation. 🙂

  10. KjM says on :

    I believe you got the “voice” just right. Nicely done, I rather think.

    I did enjoy “…that confounded decimal point one place to the right” – that’ll get you every time. :-}

  11. Icy Sedgwick says on :

    In my head, I read that in the voice of Wallace (of Wallace & Gromit!)

    Such a lovely story.

  12. Gayle Beveridge says on :

    This story dripped British and I think the character would be placed just as well in yesteryear arriving on some continent of earth yet to be claimed. And what a nice surprise the ending was.

  13. Aidan Fritz says on :

    I enjoyed the way he exudes nonchalant-ness until he is surprised by the gorgeous view. Nice inner monologue.

  14. Deanna Schrayer says on :

    What a great voice here Maria! I love his calm demeanor, even in the face of surprise. Fun story!

  15. sonia lal says on :

    Loved the voice! So British. Love his surprise at the view too.

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