A Brush With Death

11.20.09

The combination of 4 inch stiletto heels, cobblestone pavement and an attempt to fish out a cigarette packet from an overflowing handbag proved too much for her inner ear; she toppled over and felt the sharp pain of a twisted ankle. When she looked up and saw Death standing over her with his hand outstretched, she nearly had a heart attack.

“But – it’s only a sprain!” she exclaimed.
“Oh, I’m not here for you. Just because I take lives doesn’t mean I can’t be a gentleman” said Death, with a smile. She blushed and accepted his help in getting up.

She heard a loud crash and turned to see that a bus had collided with a lorry. The bus was in flames and the lorry’s cab was crunched up. People were screaming.

“Ah, that’ll be my twelve o’clock, I must dash. See you soo – er, eventually”, said Death, with a twinkle in his eye socket. She watched him saunter over to the vehicles and suddenly didn’t feel like lighting that cigarette.

———————————————————————-

I wasn’t feeling very inspired this week. I was, however, craving cigarettes quite badly

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This entry was posted on Friday, November 20th, 2009 at 10:15 AM and is filed under Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

30 Responses to “A Brush With Death”

  1. jimdempsey says on November 20th, 2009 at 10:23 AM :

    Excellent! And nice twist with Death just trying to be nice. He gets such a bad rep. Love the line: twinkle in his eye socket.

  2. Michael Solender says on November 20th, 2009 at 10:40 AM :

    Wild. Very imaginative abd ddare I say it..fun!

  3. Deb says on November 20th, 2009 at 11:32 AM :

    Fantastic! Very funny with fabulous imagery.

  4. Laurita says on November 20th, 2009 at 11:40 AM :

    Wonderful! Death does get a hard time. Who says he isn't just a nice guy doing a job? The last line is perfect.

  5. Sam says on November 20th, 2009 at 11:59 AM :

    Oh, I sooo enjoyed that! 😉

  6. estrella05azul says on November 20th, 2009 at 12:16 PM :

    Which raises the question: so what did she die of in the end? 🙂
    Very nice!

  7. Karen from Mentor says on November 20th, 2009 at 12:53 PM :

    I love Death as a character. Terry Pratchett does Death to a tee. So did you today missy.
    Death with a twinkle in his eye socket. HA!
    Karen :0)

  8. Diandra says on November 20th, 2009 at 12:58 PM :

    Loved this one!

  9. Marisa Birns says on November 20th, 2009 at 1:20 PM :

    Death as a gentleman? Love it!

    Great line about seeing her…eventually, haha!

    So, cigarettes can save lives, eh?

  10. Laura Eno says on November 20th, 2009 at 1:22 PM :

    Loved it! You say you weren't inspired?? Death as a gentleman – great. 🙂

  11. Dana says on November 20th, 2009 at 2:13 PM :

    Well done! I'm sure it'll come as no surprise to hear that I approve of silly 🙂

  12. Deanna Schrayer says on November 20th, 2009 at 3:00 PM :

    Love it Mazzz! Who knew Death could be so kind? 🙂

  13. Christian Bell says on November 20th, 2009 at 3:15 PM :

    Death as a likable character is always nice. We’re all going to die, so Death might as well at least be nice from a customer service angle. This does have a Terry Pratchett kind of feel (though if I recall, his Death always spoke in all caps). Nicely done!

  14. Eric J. Krause says on November 20th, 2009 at 4:53 PM :

    Very good! Soon being cut off made the piece. Stories about Death, as morbid as the subject is, can be quite fun.

  15. Melissa says on November 20th, 2009 at 5:04 PM :

    Love the combination of stiletto heels, cobblestone pavement, an overstuffed handbag, and a disoriented inner ear. (Ahh…the wise choices we make…) Death may be a gentleman, but he still seems just enough creepy to me! Enjoyed!

  16. Linda says on November 20th, 2009 at 7:25 PM :

    me likey, me likey! Very different from the other pieces you've posted. You give Death a good name. Peace, Linda

  17. techtigger says on November 20th, 2009 at 8:22 PM :

    *bwahaahaa!* too funny!

  18. Lou says on November 20th, 2009 at 9:08 PM :

    This is great. I quit a few years back, and goodness knows it can feel like the devil is giving you a cigarette just to get you faster.

    Great read, thanks.

  19. jdanetyler says on November 20th, 2009 at 10:36 PM :

    For what it's worth, I thought this was cute. A nice and concise job of keeping everything right there in front. A good piece, I thought.

    🙂

  20. Mark Kerstetter says on November 21st, 2009 at 2:11 AM :

    Resist the urge! The end was a nice punch-line.

  21. ~Tim says on November 21st, 2009 at 2:37 AM :

    Cute! And I like the line about the twinkle in his eye socket too.

  22. Tony Noland says on November 21st, 2009 at 11:52 AM :

    You know, my first take on this was that she was a streetwalker and Death was there to be anything BUT a gentleman. Great story.

  23. ganymeder says on November 21st, 2009 at 4:01 PM :

    I liked how the first paragraph set you up, and then the second set you straight. The comment about the "inner ear" threw me, I think it would be clearer without that phrase,but otherwise excellent! I really, really enjoyed this. Thank you.

  24. trev says on November 21st, 2009 at 7:32 PM :

    Lovely bit of fun. I wouldn't be upset if Gentleman Death was a recurring character (hint,hint)

  25. A Writer says on November 21st, 2009 at 11:26 PM :

    I happened to like it. Then again, me and Death as a character have been getting acquainted. Thank you for this really cute FF.

  26. PS the Pratsie says on November 22nd, 2009 at 7:03 AM :

    Death wnt return empty handed… she must have remembered… nice one 🙂

  27. Donald Conrad says on November 22nd, 2009 at 4:38 PM :

    Death as a gentleman—seeming rather chipper. And why not? With a bus and lorrie full of dead and damaged souls. Not bad — coming from the uninspired.

  28. BRelyea says on November 23rd, 2009 at 12:05 AM :

    As one who has spent a lot of time falling down, this had a very familiar ring. I loved Death. Perhaps he would like to visit my upcoming novel. Congratulations.

    Barb Relyea

  29. J. M. Strother says on November 24th, 2009 at 5:11 PM :

    Very funny, Maria. I really enjoyed it. Stay away from those smokes!
    ~jon

  30. Steve Green says on September 17th, 2010 at 10:24 PM :

    It’s nice to see Death doing a good turn whilst he passes a few moments waiting for an appointment.

    I liked the “But-It’s only a sprain” 🙂

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