Dusk Dweller
05.20.10
All must pass through the Realm of Dusk before they can reach their final destination, be that the fair Evenlands or the pits of the Abyss. All must come here, at the mercy of the Guardians as to which of the Gates will be opened to them. So came I, but here I remain though an age has surely passed in the lands of the living. Neither of the Gates will let me pass; even the Guardians cannot force me through.
At first they were baffled. That the Evenlands did not want me was not discussed – it was no surprise to me either – but that the Abyss should turn me down was unthinkable. The Abyss would accept into its pits the innocent soul of a stillborn child, if it were offered; yet I still sit here, despite the terrible act I once committed. It seems the rules of the Dusk Realm are not as simple as those of the living.
There are no days here, no nights; only dusk. I sit at this eternal crossroads watching procession after procession of souls being ushered into their allocated Gate, their colours at odds with the grey hue of the Dusk world. I used to have colour too, when I first arrived. It has since faded and I now blend in with the surroundings, though not with the Guardians. Most passing souls are too preoccupied with the Gates they are approaching to see me. Those that do notice me look at me in surprise; I am grey, but not a Guardian – and yet this clearly is my home. They look away quickly, always, and no doubt chase from their thoughts the image of the unwanted soul.
I have been here so long that even the Guardians have accepted me, in a way. They ignore me, but they no longer cloak their words so that I cannot hear them; instead they speak freely in my presence. During quiet times, when there are no dead to be shepherded, I learn of the Upper Realm and the wars waged within it that will affect all souls in these worlds, though even the Guardians know not how. I learn of the Lady of the Evenlands and the Lord of the Abyss, but nothing of the world of the living. It appears to be of no consequence here.
Over time I have grown accustomed to my quiet existence in the Realm of Dusk. I am so used to being ignored that it is a great surprise for me to see all the Guardians walking towards me, looking directly at me. They come up to me and escort me to the Gates, then stand in a semi-circle around me and watch the Gates intently – as, indeed, do I, for light is now shining out of both of them. A silhouette becomes apparent in each gateway and I realise I am about to witness someone coming out through the Gates for the first time; souls only ever move in the other direction.
I watch in awe as the Lady of the Evenlands and the Lord of the Abyss walk out of their respective worlds and stride up to me. They take a few moments to look at me – into me – and then the Lord speaks.
“You have been the subject of much debate between our Realms. You committed an act of such atrocity that I should be taking you into the pits with me. However the Lady refuses to relinquish you, even though she does not want you in the Evenlands.”
“I cannot let a soul so tarnished into my Realm,” the Lady says, and if such a voice commands the Evenlands I have no doubt it is the fairest of Realms.
“Nonetheless,” she continues, “selecting a destination for you was not as simple a matter as passing you over to the Abyss. I know why you did what you did. I know you had no choice. The Abyss shall not have you.”
“Am I to remain in the Dusk Realm, then?” I ask, startled at the sound of my own voice – I have not spoken aloud since my arrival here.
“No. The Dusk world is not for those such as you, either. I have consulted with the Upper Realm, and they are in agreement with me. You lie so precisely on the cusp of good and evil that there can be no correct choice. Your soul’s uncertainty renders it incomplete – you must be sent back, and start again.”
“Back?”
“To the lands of the living. To a new life, a blank slate. May your soul find its true calling, and may we meet again on the other side of Dusk.” She points to something behind me. I turn and see a new Gate has opened, and light of all colours floats out of it. I face the Lady again; the great sense of relief I feel makes me unable to speak, so I bow as low as I can to thank her.
“Go,” she says, and I walk through the Gate. I feel myself getting smaller and smaller, and the light gets brighter and brighter, until finally I am in a room full of people wearing white garments and plastic gloves. One of them lifts me and I realise what has happened – I am newborn of body as well as of soul. The Dusk Realm fades from my mind and I will have no more knowledge of it until the day, hopefully many years hence, when I will find myself there once more.
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Tags: Abyss, Afterlife, Dusk, Evenlands, Fantasy, Flash Fiction, fridayflash, soul, Writing
Very cool story. I wonder what he did to be passed over by both, and what will his soul choose to be like in his next chance? I love stories of the afterlife–they’re so thought-provoking.
Result! Wish I knew what they’d done. I was trying to guess it all the way through but you withheld the one true knowledge!
But I found the story and the world you evoked amazingly drawn in so few word. The slightly antiquated language in places too was spot on. This is perfectly rounded.
Is it okay that the preamble was my favorite part? I enjoyed the winding description of this faraway unplace.
Aw, I wanted to know what crime he committed! Wait — I just realized I assumed the protagonist was a he, but you never really specify either way. Hm. Is it a he?
I liked your depiction of the Dusk Realm, of a world without colour. Quite striking!
Well, as always, I seem to be the last to figure out things. I thought it was a female!
Anyway, did love the Dusk Realm you depicted here. Brings to mind my Catholic School understanding of Purgatory.
I hope this next time around, s(he) chooses more wisely.
Great story!
As always you do great work, this story is like a poem inviting the reader to explicate it.
Agree with John, the preamble is great and does it’s job grabbing the reader. Nice work running along the lines of a common theme. Your style suits this story very well.
Trippy and pretty thought-provoking, Mazz… Dug the otherworldly vibe so much
Thanks folks, as always
Marc – it is SO hard to think of an act so atrocious that someone has no choice but to commit. I’ve only got an inkling so far, and I need to think one up for a budding MC in another story…
Marisa and AM – for me the voice was male, although I don’t think it matters here. Don’t ask me why, but whenever I write in first person it always seems to be male!
John – ooooh, “unplace”. Yes indeed!
What an intriguing character! Of course I want to know what they did, but in this story it’s all right that we don’t find out. It keeps the emphasis on the amazing place and the strange situation. Beautiful.
I want to know what the protagonist did!!! Curiosity kills the cat, I know… (meow).
This concept of dusk only is really cool, your words even sound as if they are uttered at dusk..intrigue as others have said is the word of the day with this so very different tale, very skillfully done.
This piece set the hooks in deep. I became completely wrapped up in the story and racked my mind wondering what was done to keep him/her stuck between two realms.
Thanks for sharing
Fascinating story. I really love the whole concept. That the dark deed was left a mystery makes it even better.
What a fantastic concept, and so well crafted. I too want to know what crime was committed, but I’m also intrigued by the guardians’ appearance; how did they come to be guardains?
I am surprised at just how completely this story took me in, blotting everything else out as I read even though there were so few visual clues to go on; I could feel myself constructing the Realm of Dusk.
Wow, such beautiful description! I love this piece. I’d certainly like to read more about the Evenlands and the Abyss.
Superb story! It’s complete and yet I want to know so much more. It would make an awesome intro to a novel.
I loved this. I have goose-bumps, your story-telling was beautiful.
I’ll second Laura’s comment. I love the fact we never learn what he did. Great story. Dusk realm is awesome.
Beautifully told story. Loved the uncertainty at the end.
This is an amazing story, Mazzz. The descriptions, the mc’s voice, the very uncertainty of the place is stunning and excellent.
I like that your mc’s gender and crime aren’t specified, because s/he has left them behind. It’s perfect for this story.
Very well done.
Mazz, I have read stories with great tension before, but I have never felt so “sitting at the edge of my seat” as I did with this one. It literally took my breath away. I don’t even have to know exactly what the main character did. Excellent work.
Whoa – what a picture you paint with your words. But I’m consumed with what he/she did… perhaps in another life we will learn the answer.
Cool story, Maria. It’s deep and philosophical, and beautifully written. It reads very smoothly.
~jon
At first I thought he had become a guardian without knowing it. The idea that we might get another chance at life is beautiful – wish I could believe it.
I love the MC’s voice. It’s displaced in time, sounding old yet possibly new at the same time. I actually don’t mind that we don’t know what he (?) did to be stuck between the Gates.
A genuine pleasure to read. It’s an interesting bit of mythological fancy. The voice was amazing and true through the piece, too. A great job.
You’ve got what seems like the beginning of a larger work – a real fantasy, I think and I like how you’ve started, all sorts of mystery and mythos already blooming. More please?
DJ
I was really looking forward to hearing how this story ended after the preview at LWG this week, and as usual you haven’t disappointed! Like many others have commented, I’m intrigued to know what your character did which was deemed to be so awful, but think the real strength of the story comes from the fact that you keep the reader guessing.
I agree with the people who have said we don’t need to know what the character did; it’s sort of besides the point. It’s more about what happens after that, and you’ve covered it here nicely. I also wondered if he might become a Guardian but this makes perfect sense. And as others have said, the voice does a good job of being sort of timeless. Very nice.
I really liked this. The fact that your character did a terrible thing but perhaps with mitigating circumstances. The dusk realm is very atmospheric too. Glad s/he got the chance to try again!
Marc thinks that the language is a bit antiquated but I love the tone you imprinted. Great description of the grey-ish in between and how he blends with it, getting used to be ignored.
I agree that this sounds like a “he”. Great voice!
I too wanted to know what the crime and the circumstances were. What would generate so much debate between the two worlds?
I’m caught up on this one. 🙂
This was fabulous. I immediately connected with the MC, the apathy of a lifetime spent in limbo was tangible. Great Job.
Great story. Excellent, clean writing. Thank you for sharing.
This has always been one of my favorite themes – death, transfiguration, karma, consequences, the bardo, call it what you will. Nicely balanced between the hauntingly abstract and the realistic … a difficult game. Very nicely done.
Man, now I want to know what the soul did. Oh, well, hope it goes better next time. Great descriptions of the realms and their inhabitants.
CD
I thought it was a female mc also, Fwiw. The thing I loved most about this, besides the cool premise, was the visual image of dusk and grayness in contrast to the colors. It begins here: “…theircolours at odds with the gray hue of this dusk world.” and carried on throughout. Loved it – well done!