Angered Gods
10.07.10
Tenki was nearly asleep when he heard whispered voices outside the hut – one of the Elders had come to speak to his father. He lay as still as possible so they would think he was asleep. His father always spoke of more interesting things when he thought Tenki couldn’t hear him.
“I fear the river gods have forsaken us, Kamet,” the Elder said. “We were due a visit from them three winters ago, and there has been no sign. We might last one more winter with the help of the rain, but the river will run dry as soon as the heat returns.”
“But why? What have we done to deserve this? The spring sacrifices have been taking place without fail since I was a boy and we, as a people, have not changed in all that time either.”
“As a people, no. But one person did change, as I’m sure you are only too painfully aware.”
“Are you referring to – ” Kamet stopped himself as he could hear his voice rising.
“Yes. Tenki’s mother.”
“But that’s absurd – she was beside herself with grief!”
The boy’s eyes shot open despite himself. He closed them immediately before the adults could notice. No one had ever told him much about his mother and why she had left. She was ill, they’d said. She was touched, so we had to send her away. He tensed as the Elder continued.
“She cursed the river gods, Kamet. You know that as well as I do. It is clear we are being punished for her indiscretion.”
“Indiscretion? Her eldest child fell into that river and drowned. Are the gods so cruel as to punish a bereaved mother for going mad with grief?”
“The Elders have been meeting to discuss this very point for days now. We have come to the conclusion that this must indeed be the case. It was only a short while after that day when the earth shook and boulders fell from the mountain. We have no doubt that the two events are related.”
“But what can we do about this? Why have you come to me?”
“We feel that this time, animal sacrifices will not be enough. I realise how difficult -”
“You’re not suggesting -”
“Yes. Her other son.”
Tenki was too shocked to be afraid, but hearing his father’s muffled sobs caused tears to run from his eyes. With the wisdom of ten summers behind him, he knew what he had to do. He had to find the river gods and beg their forgiveness on behalf of his mother. If that failed, he would offer himself as a sacrifice. As soon as he was sure his father had cried himself to sleep, he took a loaf of bread and walked along the river, towards the mountains where the water came from.
It was a clear night, so he was able to make good headway by the time morning came and his father realised he was missing. He walked for two more days and nights, always following the river, stopping only for short naps. By the end of the third night he had reached the foot of the mountain. He looked up its face to the source of the river – a mere trickle compared to the waterfall that used to flow from there before his mother had cursed the river gods. He sat down to rest his tired legs a little and eat the remainder of the bread before starting the daunting climb up the mountain.
It took him the best part of the day to reach the water’s source, and what he found there surprised him. There was plenty of water coming through the underground tunnel, but a big boulder blocked its path in such a way that most of it got diverted to another tunnel to the side. The boulder was as high as Tenki – but how much heavier than me, he wondered. He managed to crawl over the boulder and into the tunnel, treading carefully so the water wouldn’t drag him with it down the other tunnel.
How am I going to move this? He wished that his father were with him, and not for the first time; it had been a lonely few days. He pushed and pushed the boulder outwards, but it wouldn’t budge. There were some smaller rocks that Tenki thought were helping to keep it in place, but they were too near the edge and he couldn’t reach them safely. A thought struck him and he went out of the tunnel and onto the mountain face. He broke a large branch from the nearest tree and used that to leverage the boulder towards a different direction, to the other tunnel. He felt a small amount of movement and was heartened. He put all the force he could muster into the next push, and felt it move a little more. The water, finding less resistance in its original path, started to lift the boulder, and Tenki gave it another big heave. It rolled a little towards the other tunnel, the pressure from the river helping it along slowly. Tenki gave one last big push and the river was set free.
As the force of the water hurled Tenki over the edge of the mountain and to his death on the rocky riverbed below, he could hear the cruel laughter of the river gods in the roar of the waterfall.
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Tags: Fantasy, fridayflash, River gods, Writing
Sometimes, the lamb walks to the altar all by itself.
Nice one.
That made me feel sad, and very sorry for poor Tenki.
welcome back Mazzz! And with a good’un too. What’s a bit of superstition when it can stand in the way of any reasonable empiricism? Nicely done.
Marc Nash
That was pretty neat, he was fated to sacrifice himself, for a minute I thought he was going to move the boulder and go home triumphantly championing logic.. those cruel gods.
had a very involved fantasy feel, like it was one story/parable of many from the same universe. (If that makes sense?).
That’s a horrible way for him to go but I suppose at least it spared his father the pain of sacrificing him himself. Hooked me straight away!
Welcome back Mazzz we missed you.
Oh this was so sad. I knew he was fated to die, but what a way to go. Great stuff.
Those River Gods are cruel, but this is a very well-told story. You had me hoping for him throughout, poor boy. Your descriptions of the people and the landscape were lush, beautiful and captivating.
This was sad, but so cleverly written in your unique way. It is too bad Tenki didn’t know that seeking the river gods and offering himself as a sacrifice were not mutually exclusive.
Poor little boy. With river gods like that, I think it’s time to move somewhere else!
He had enough courage to go find an answer, that I wish it could have ended differently. But he went willing to be sacrificed and I guess in the end, he got his wish.
It was nice of the lad to offer himself for the good of the village.
I suppose superstition has its place in human history, but this story really made me angry..which means that you did your job as a writer! So sad.
How did Tony beat me to that comment? Lambs and altars were exactly what I was thinking of. And I used to be so fond of river gods…
I saw your name on a retweet and raced over. Your story entertained me, and left me hating river gods.
Those river gods have a cruel sense of humor. But as with all gods, they will have what they want.
This does make for a good parable/allegory. Superbly written. Welcome back.
Adam B @revhappiness
Very good! Glad to be able to read something by you again…
Welcome back, Mazzz! And what a cracker to return with. Poor Tenki, but that’s gods for you.
Welcome back and you didn’t disappoint! I loved the way you showed logical science, yet the outcome would serve the purpose of perpetuating the superstition when they found his body.
Nice one!
Science, superstition. Which? Or both? Loved the story.
Oh Maria! I could whoop you for killing poor Tenki. But I guess it was inevitable. I was so wrapped up in trying to help him push that boulder that I never saw his death coming. One of your best.
Nicely written Maria, I didn’t think you were going to kill the hero at the end…..but you DID, DINCHA? 🙂
One of the laws of nature, things die, so things may live.
Your story was very well told, but left me cursing the villagers, not the gods. Damn elders always so quick to sacrifice the young. Great mythic feel to the story.
Almost makes me believe in magic.
The river gods work in mysterious ways. Good story!
Cruel indeed. The river gods new that the boy was coming up to sacrifice himself. They didn’t have to stab him in the back, did they?
I don’t like these gods of yours, but the story is fantastic! I just read the vol. II of Joseph Campbell’s “The Masks of God” and your description of their myths and sacrifices feel very realistic in comparison to his analysis. Well done!
Ah…well done with this. The gods must be appeased, one way or the other. There simply are things that must be.
This flowed (no pun intended) very well and there was a beautiful inevitability to how it ended.
Excellent.
Excellent story; what the gods want, the gods get.
Oh…
I dont know which part of this story was the best… the part in the hut … or the part in the tunnel? I’m inclined to believe that there’s an incredible level of balance between the two parts that it’s not easily achievable. Most of us will either take too long to set the premise or expand too much on the ending. In this case I had a vivid feeling of compassion for the kid and his father (I even felt sympathetic towards a mother I only read about in half a sentence). I also had an extreme premonition about the ending but, the more I was reading the more it was fading and then… BANG… faded as it might have been, it came back to life.
I think I enjoyed this piece of yours more than any of your previous works. Of course this is just a personal opinion (then again what other kind of opinion is there?) but I do believe that this balance between the setup and the delivery is truthfully masterful.
Thank you for an awesome treat. Read you next Friday? 🙂
I had a feeling he was going to be sacrificed one way or another… poor Tenki.
Ah man… I felt bad for the little tyke… But nevertheless, this was another well-told tale. and yes, welcome back!
Man…rough ending for Tenki, but another excellent story!! Thanks for the good read.
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